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Fixing others mistakes-Ivar Ragnarsson

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Ylva Halvorsdóttir
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PostSubject: Fixing others mistakes-Ivar Ragnarsson Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:18 pm

Ylva had woken up for the first time with a hangover. She had drank much more at the feast with Ivar then she had ever drank  before in her life. She was just having such a nice time talking and listening to him and the people around her that she lost track of the amount she had drank. Her father had left her over almost the entire time. So she had been glad that Ivar stayed with her for a while. He of course didn’t stay the entire night, but she was graces with his presence for a few hours. Ylva found that she very much liked Ivar. He wasn’t anything like all the rumors said he was. He was nice to her after he found out she was blind. Made sure she had drinks after her cup was empty, and even encouraged her to use her blindness to her advantage. Something she really hadn’t thought about before he had said so.

Ylva had always viewed her blindness as a cures, something that held her back, made her weak. Ivar told her to use it, to make the people pay for underestimating her. She would have to spend some time thinking about it before she really started to follow his advice. Ylva had found out what her father had been up to however when he came and dragged her out of the feast. She didn’t know the entire conversation he had had with the queen, but Ylva found out her father had offered her hand to Ivar and was declined. Something that got her punished by her father. She should have known that he only brought her here for his own benefit. How could she have thought he wanted her here because she simply wanted to come.

She hoped Ivar knew she had no idea, that she thought it a cruel thing to do. To offer such a strong man a blind girl because he was also crippled. Sure she liked him, and the idea of him as a husband wasn’t a bad one. But she can’t see and he can’t walk. How in the world would the take care of each other. She could see why the queen would tell her father no, but she didn’t think she should have been punished the way he punished her. He had drug her to the tent and hit her and shook her because he didn’t get his way. He told her he wasn’t going to easily give up however and they were going to stay a week until they went back home. She wondered if she had any bruises from his punishment, the Thrall hadn’t said.

Ylva had snuck out of her tent with her father and Thrall as soon as she was ready. She took her trusted dog with her and made her way toward the manor, at least she had some what of an idea where that was or at least she hoped she had an idea of where it was. She wanted to tell ivar she hadn’t known what her father was doing. She didn’t want him to hate her, and be angry with her for what her father had tried to do behind their backs. When she got to what she thought was the manor she asked if she was in the right place and was told it was. She then asked if she could speak with Ivar. She hoped this wasn’t rude and he wouldn’t be annoyed she called upon him this way. When she heard the sound of dragging she knew he was come. "Price Ivar." she said first as the sound got closer. "I hope you weren't busy..." she said next as she bit her lip a bit. Nervous about the situation at hand.

She was sure she had found a friend in him, and she feared her father had ruined everything just as soon as it started."I'd like to spend some time together if you aren't busy with other things....and clear some things up too" she said last after a few more seconds. She hoped it was really him she was hearing and that she wasn't just standing here talking to herself like a crazy person.

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Ivar Ragnarsson
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PostSubject: Re: Fixing others mistakes-Ivar Ragnarsson Fri Nov 10, 2017 8:02 pm

If I had a heart I could love you ,
If I had a voice I would sing.

He crawled around with that big enormous grin on his lips, like he just won a battle and was eager on collecting a prize. In a way he was, being the only son of Ragnar who wasn’t drunk enough to forget the night or to start a fight while he usually was the one to do some harm. He had enjoyed that so much, seeing Ubbe and Björn clash over a woman, it had held him busy the whole night and morning. Seeing his drunk brother in bed just made him cheerful. It was a way of coping for Ivar, not being the bad one for once. Mother probably would talk to Ubbe, how he disrespected a feast by fighting Björn. Not that anything happened, yet. But it was rather fun hearing everybody talk about that instead of him. So he was cheerful, in a mood you wouldn’t find him too often. The only thing bothering him was not knowing the details of it and that was what he did that whole morning before returning to the great hall. For him everything went so smoothly and that was a cause to drink even more.

He dragged his body in, the weight hardly affecting his arms because he was already so used to it. His mother wanted to speak to him about something but as soon as he reach the dining room he started to roll his eyes on the sight of Sigurd being there. ‘Where is mother?’ He asked, cocking his head to the side. ‘What do you want now, are your legs hurting again Ivar?’ Sigurd replied in such a way every bit of cheerfulness sunk away from his face. He slowly crawled to one of the chairs without losing contact with his brother before he pulled himself up. Sigurd chuckled on the anger Ivar showed and stood up, readying himself to leave. ‘You scared I’m gonna kill you while we are all alone here?’ Ivar asked after his brother, laughing when he didn’t got any reaction from him. Ivar pulled himself further in the chair and reached out to a plate of food, plucking some fruit away from in before sitting back. He shuffled his feet to a better please before paying attention to the apple. But just as he wanted to bite he saw something, followed by a voice. His teeth snapped together before he slowly turned his head. ‘You again.’ He said, studying her face with slightly squeezed eyes. What was she doing here?

Ivar had spent a big amount of time with her on the feast from yesterday, it wasn’t a snappy or awkward conversation, he had to say … in a way it was rather fun. But he didn’t expect on seeing her again. ‘I was planning on eating, so yes, I was busy.’ Typical him to point out something sarcastic. ‘Don’t you have to be on a boat back to Skagen?’ He asked a little curious, biting the apple between his strong cheek. He looked back aside to her, how she stood there, with that filthy dog again. Respect was a strong word for Ivar but there was something, an understanding between him and her. He wasn’t committing to it, or showing it but deep down he cared about her lonely situation, just as his was. When she talked again he tapped his fingers on the table. ‘I thought you had enough of me after last night but here you are.’ He stated, curious to what she had to clear up. He reached out, pushing a chair behind. ‘Sit, eat.’ Two simple words in a simple command. ‘What needs clearing up?’ He smoothened his voice, sounding more friendly then he was. He bite another piece of the apple, running his bracer alongside his mouth while following every move she made. Was he happy to see her again? No, Ivar never felt really happy. But the corner of his mouth tucked a little up as he watched her moving.
//©️
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PostSubject: Re: Fixing others mistakes-Ivar Ragnarsson Fri Nov 10, 2017 8:55 pm

Ylva found herself feeling very awkward as she stood there, and that feeling went even higher in her body when she heard Ivar speak. ‘You again.’ was all he said at first at. He didn't sound angry per say that she was there, more so he sounded confused, and surprised that she was now here in his home after spending so much time with him only hours before hand. ‘I was planning on eating, so yes, I was busy.’ Was what Ivar said when he spoke again. Making her wonder if this was all a very bad idea to come here in the first place so early in the morning or coming at all. But again, he didn't sound upset with her, there was not any hidden anger in his voice that she could hear. Even if what he had said was a little on the sarcastic side.‘Don’t you have to be on a boat back to Skagen?’ Ivar spoke again, and she realized she had been pretty quite. Just standing there awkwardly with his eyes roaming her body. It was like she could feel them on her, and it was much stronger than the night before when there were many others around. " Father said we are staying an extra week, then we will return home" she said in answer to his question about the being on her way home. Did he want her out of his village already? Was he hopping he was never going to see her again? Many thought were going threw her mind as she stood there.

She was deciding if she should leave or not. If he wasn't mad at her then maybe he didn't know. Or maybe he was use to girls fathers throwing their daughters hand at him. Her Thrall had told her that Ivar was indeed very handsome despite his legs when she had asked her, after her father had finished punishing her. Which she had of corse told the Thrall to never word it that way again around her. No, if Ivar was handsome, he was handsome with his legs included. ‘I thought you had enough of me after last night but here you are.’ Ivar said again. Bringing her back to him and away from her thoughts. Ylva felt her face heat up in a blush and bit her lip once more at his words. Did coming here this way make her seem desperate? She had just really wanted to make sure he and her were on the same page, but it seemed that he had no idea or he was just pretending he didn't know. " I enjoy your company more than anyone else here, or anywhere really..." she said simply.

Her face getting even more red before she heard a chair being pushed out from across the room. ‘Sit, eat.’ was Ivar's command to her. Followed by ‘What needs clearing up?’ Taking a deep breath she slowly walked forward, with her dog in tow, as she followed the sound that she had heard. Being careful not to trip Ylva reached out with her hands and felt the table and moved around it until she found the chair he had pushed out for her. The whole ordeal took her a minute or two longer than she would have wanted. Making her feel embarrassed as she felt his eyes follow her every move. At least she had not fallen or tripped on anything. She didn't give him or anyone else that was in the room with her a reason to make fun of her. Taking the seat she slowly pulled herself closer to the table and let go of the rope in her hand. Letting her dog rest at her feet. She was trying to figure out how to go about this. She wasn't going to lie to him because he could know everything and he could get be pretending, plus if he didn't know she at least got to get her side out before he heard it from his mother. She could make him understand she had not known.

Taking another breath she turned toward where she was pretty sure he was sitting and started."Last night, at the feast my father did something behind my back." she said making sure to keep herself calm and collected." While he had left me alone, and we got to know each other , he went to your mother...to make her an offer...." she said next. She felt her heart speeding up, and her nerves taking over. "That offer..was an offer to you...for my hand in marriage." she felt her hands starting to shake now as she slowly explained things to him. She was scared of what he was going to say to her, how he was going to react."I want you to know I had no idea he was doing this Ivar! I had know idea that was the real reason he decided to bring me here." she said as she bit her lip and turned her head away. " Your mother said no of course. I wouldn't think she would want a blind girl for her son, a prince, but my father plans to stay and try to get her to change her mind....thats why we are still here. He hopes to convince you or your mother. If he doesn't I don't know what will happen really." she said as she turned her head toward him again. " I wanted to make sure you knew that I had no idea. That I enjoyed last night speaking with you,becoming like friends,and I don't want you to think badly of me...To think I knew what my stupid father planed. I had begged to come here for weeks,and then out of no where he finally said yes. I should have known it was for his own benefit and not my own." she said as a few small tears fell down despite her best efforts to not cry. She just didn’t want to lose a friend over this. A friend she just made.

"I came here so early because I didn't want you angry with me for what my father had done behind our backs, I hadn't even thought about the fact that you might not no yet. I just wanted to clear things up like I said...because I..I enjoy being around you like I said." she said to him as she reached forward and finally grabbed something off the table. It felt like an apple, so she did what he had commanded her before and took a bite. Trying to calm her shaky hands as she waited for him to speak. She had just unloaded a lot on him and didn't give him a chance to speak until she was done, in fear he wouldn't hear her out.

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PostSubject: Re: Fixing others mistakes-Ivar Ragnarsson Sun Nov 12, 2017 10:04 pm

If I had a heart I could love you ,
If I had a voice I would sing.

He couldn’t ignore the fact that he was thinking about her that night, after she walked away with that dog. Not in the way boys thought about girls but in another deeper way. All that night he had played with his cup between his hands, thinking about the goods and wrongs of being blind. The similarities between them, the differences. He didn’t thought he would see her again and here she was, again cutting him of guard by showing up without him expecting it. When she said she would stay for another week he didn’t say anything, he just nodded slowly, look to his apple with his thought about what that meant. And in the end of that long line of thoughts he smiled a little, not that she would see it and that was just why he did it. ‘Good.’ He just answered, sounding almost uninterested while all he wanted was to study the cracks in her crippled edges and the flaws in her mind.

He knew his words weren’t anywhere near friendly, he literary didn’t give a damn about what people thought and yet every time he spoke so freely to her he caught himself on overthinking his own words. It frustrated him, that he felt like this, that there was any compassion for her disability while nobody had that for his. He observed her expressions to what he said but there wasn’t much expect for her words. ‘Really.’ It rolled just out, a little surprised even. He opened his mouth, closing it right away before shaking his head and looking back to the apple. ‘You should take a look around Ylva, there are much nicer people then just another cripple.’ He stated, knowing what he just said his sarcasm just couldn’t hold it. ‘But you can’t really look.’ He muttered for his own. ‘Shame.’ It hardly came over his lips. She would think something entirely different if she had the eyes to see him, to see his anger laying under the surface of his blue eyes, to see those bony legs tied together. He made himself angry by thinking that, digging his nailed a little deeper into the apple while slowly breathing out. Maybe it wasn’t a shame that she couldn’t see the monster everybody thought he was.

Her whole attitude shifted a little when he asked her what needed clearing up. He squeezed his eyes a little together, following her unsteady steps to the table, she was blushing and Ivar his teeth sunk down in the apple, keeping it there before he bite. He pushed the plate with fruits and some bread over to her and tilted his head while chewing. Something was bothering her, for that he had a set of perfectly good working eyes. She took such a deep breath before turning his way that Ivar leaned back in the chair, questioning the first words she began to say. Her father … from what he had heard her father wasn’t much good. But he said nothing for whatever see wanted to say seemed very important, otherwise she wouldn’t be so nervous like this. When she started about his mother he slowed his chewing to a very slow pace, eyes almost going through her body and soul like nothing. And then it came … the words he really didn’t saw coming. He swallowed the piece of apple and looked at her, eyes turning ice cold is a very fast way. His fingers dug into the left over of the apple, pushing through the surface to the middle. He didn’t say a word, he just looked at her while his anger took every possible vein in his body. How could she, how could her father. ‘Friends?’ It came so slowly over his lips after she like ten times said she didn’t had a part in it. ‘You know what I wanna do when I see your father?’ He hissed, grabbing the dagger on his belt and smacking it in the wood of the table. ‘What do you think? What does he think? Coming here and,’ he took a large breath. ‘I’m the prince!’ He shouted to her, throwing the apple right at the wall behind her before he pushed his arms up on the table and leaned closer to her. He saw the small tears and he pushed his teeth against each other. ‘I didn’t know blind girls could cry.’ He mocked. He was tearing her apart in all his rage. ‘You came here with your father, taking advantage of a cripple,’ he felt silence for a moment. ‘OF ME!’ He yelled, smacking his flat hand on the table. ‘I can’t believe you, why should I, we only met yesterday.’ He pointed out. ‘I wanted to believe that you were good, that we had the same problems but all that was a lie wasn’t it? You just came here to make the best proposition, you,’ his voice shivered and he looked aside to the plate before he shoved it harshly away, it made so much noise, the plate and he grabbed her wrist, pulling her harsly closer. ‘We aren’t friends. We never were. The next time I see you or that father of yours you gonna wish to have never come.’ He whispered, pushing the thread right into her body. He swung her hand loose and sat back, fisting his hands and trying to control his anger. Oh the thoughts racing through his mind right now …

//©️
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PostSubject: Re: Fixing others mistakes-Ivar Ragnarsson Sun Nov 12, 2017 11:16 pm

Ylva couldn't help the smile that came onto her face when she heard Ivar's quite ‘Good.’ when she had said she was staying until the end of the week. Maybe if this conversation went well then the two of them could keep getting to know each other. If she could just make him see that she had no idea what her father was doing, then they would be able to become better friends, well that was Ylva's greatest hope anyways. She truly did enjoy him, and his interesting him. How he viewed things and his life was so much different from how she viewed her life. He used it to his advantage, and she let her blindness cripple her in other areas of her life. She hoped spending more time with him would help her stop doing that as well. Maybe he would continue to rub off on her in good ways, and she could do the say thing with him. She could see Ivar being a very good friend, they could understand each other better than anyone else could. They were both cripples in a world of seemingly perfect people. People who would never be able to understand their personal daily struggles of dealing with what the gods have given to them, what they had cruised them with.

She smiled more when he spoke again ‘Really.’ he said first followed by ‘You should take a look around Ylva, there are much nicer people then just another cripple.’ she was just about to say something back to that when he spoke again ‘But you can’t really look.’ finished with 'Shame' Ylva felt her smile fall just a bit at her words, but he didn't sound like he was being cruel, a sound she was all to good at detecting. For her father was often more cruel then nice when it came to just about everything that had to do with her. "I'm sure you would still be my favorite, but yes, a shame indeed" was all she said back to him, and very quietly at that. She didn't want to anger him before he listened to what she was just about to tell him. She needed Ivar to want to listen to her, or she came here for nothing. Because he clearly had know idea what happened behind their backs yet.

After Ylva had finished telling Ivar everything, she felt the air shift. She could feel his eyes on her, and they felt very different then they had when she first got here. ‘Friends?’ Ylva heard him say, the tone of his voice was completely different, and she felt herself take a deep breath at it. ‘You know what I wanna do when I see your father?’ he said next before she heard something smack the table, making her jump a little in fear. Ivar was angry, she could almost feel it waving off his body and hitting into her. ‘What do you think? What does he think? Coming here and,’ he said next. He was getting more and more mad by the second, and Ylva was starting to see that maybe some of the rumors she had heard were very much true. Something that was starting to frighten her greatly. ‘I’m the prince!’ he screamed at her, making her shrink back in fear, sure he was going to hit her. Like her father always did, first came yelling, then came the hitting. Ylva's eyes started to leak more tears then before, she was close full out sobbing at the angry coming off the man next to her. ‘I didn’t know blind girls could cry.’ she heard him say to her next.

How could she have been so stupid, she shouldn't have come here she thought as he spoke on. ‘You came here with your father, taking advantage of a cripple,’ he said to her and Ylva shook her head, trying to tell him no. That he was so wrong, she would never. OF ME!’ he screamed again, hitting his hand on the table hard and rough. Making Ylva let out a small scream. She was more then sure he was going to hit her now, he was acting like her father did when he was mad, and he always hit her. Everyone always hit her when they were angry. ‘I can’t believe you, why should I, we only met yesterday.’ he said next, and it was true. They had only just met, but she would never lie to him. Not ever in her life. Ylva started to shake her head again, she wanted to speak but she was so scared. If she spoke when her father was mad it made her punishments worse, so much worse. ‘I wanted to believe that you were good, that we had the same problems but all that was a lie wasn’t it? You just came here to make the best proposition, you,’ he said next and Ylva felt her neck would break from how much she was shaking it no at him.

Another small cry and a very large flitch came from her body as she felt him grab her wrist in a painful manner, this was it. He was going to hit her now. He was going to hurt her, just like her father. Ylva tried to move away. She used her free hand to guard her face. Not even thinking about her actions and what they were telling him. Any outsider would see from the way she was acting that she was use to being handled roughly. That she was use to being hit and hurt. ‘We aren’t friends. We never were. The next time I see you or that father of yours you gonna wish to have never come.’ he said to her lastly just as he pushed her hand back toward her. This was when the sobs happened. They ranked her body and took control of everything. " I truly hadn't known!" she said as she sprung up from her seat. She wanted to get as far away from him as possible. To get somewhere safe.

How could she have thought he was any different, that he would want to be her friend, that he would believe her. Now he was mad at her and she was terrified of him. Ylva was so sure he was going to hurt her, and she had showed that in her actions. He even promised he was going to hurt her if he saw her again. Jumping up and moving away Ylva almost hit the floor as she tried to get away from him as quickly as possible. Tears still falling and sobs still raking her body. She would regret everything later, when she realized how weak she had been. That she had made all the rumors of how her father treated her much more then rumors. He would hurt her so much more when he found out."I would never lie to you....I...my father is a horrible man...not me.. I would never...." she said and she reached down and felt for the rope.She would eat those words later she was more than sure.  Once she found it she started to try and run. Only to tripe and fall down, hurting her left leg a bit. Getting up as fast as she could Ylva made her way toward where she hoped the door was. "Hálogi get me out of here now!" she told the dog who on command did his job.

Ylva didn't try to speak to him again, she just let her dog get her outside and away. The moment she heard the wind and knew she was outside the sobs got quieter. She had to be safe in public, she didn't know these people, this was not her home. She knew she was safer, he couldn't hurt her now at least. Ylva wanted nothing more than to go home, but she couldn't go to her father. He would beat her. As she walked with Hálogi she hoped she could make it home on her own until she heard her fathers voice. "Why were you leaving the Manner Ylva? WHAT DID YOU DO?" he asked her as he grabbed onto her arm. He cared not why she was upset, not one bit as he dragged her back to their tent and she got yelled at once more, a punishment following after. Ylva regretted everything, she had lost her new friend and it was her fathers fault, even if ivar thought she was to blame too, the only person in the world who could have maybe understood her told her if he saw her again he would hurt her. A thought that scared her more than he would ever know. Another man out there who wanted nothing more than to hurt her was scary. She wished they had just gone home as she cried to herself on her makeshift bed.

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PostSubject: Re: Fixing others mistakes-Ivar Ragnarsson Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:45 pm

@Ivar Ragnarsson wrote:
If I had a heart I could love you ,
If I had a voice I would sing.

People got hopes up, even Ivar did. In that night he generally thought he had found somebody who understood. Simply understood. Who knew how it was to be cast aside, who knew how it was to be misunderstood. And here they were on a point that his vision of finding somebody who understood was torn apart by her way of finding a spot on the ladder. He was so angry, so angry on himself for believing this ridiculous little tale, he was so angry, more than angry, he was in rage. He wanted … what went through his head was just more than only grabbing her wrist. But when he did his raging blue eyes noticed something else, fear. He knew fear, people feared him, she feared him … finally she understood, she understood who he really was. And he was happy, with clenched teeth he looked to that fear and it satisfied him. She insisted that she didn’t knew and he just hissed, looking how her tears became sobbed and small yelps out of fear what he was going to do.

But he did nothing, he let go of her wrist. The last time he felt like this, this angry he killed a little boy, because he didn’t could play along. And before that thought could even form an action he let her go. First anger was always the worst one with Ivar, he didn’t knew what he did or what he said. He didn’t even thought. She stood up from that seat and Ivar just didn’t move an inch when she tried convincing him until she gave her dog the order to move. ‘Run along to the whole you came from.’ He hissed after her, trying on getting control over his trembling fingers. She was gone, she was finally gone and he took in a deep breath between his clenched teeth. He screamed, slamming his hands on the table before pushing himself away from his chair, he landed on the floor and crawled his way out.

He wanted to go to Floki, it was the one place he felt truly understood but when he came on the entrance of the great hall she was still there. He was there … seeing how her father yelled at her, grabbed at her and he linked the one thing to the other. He was abusing her, the fear, the sadness as her dog run alongside her, her father dragging her forth. His blue eyes followed her before it that imagine burned a whole in his chest. What if he had just listened … what if he had just give her the benefit of the doubt. He looked down to the wooden stairs before the great hall, swallowing the thoughts in as he saw he walking away. Maybe he wasn’t the only man in her life yelling, wanting to kick or slap or kill… And it made him feel wrong.

//©️
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PostSubject: Re: Fixing others mistakes-Ivar Ragnarsson

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